HOW TO MOVE FORWARD WHEN CHANGE FEELS HARD
Written by Shantell Dayton
If you’re reading this, you’re not done yet.
Reap your harvest.
Are you waiting to reap the benefits of past doings? Or are you avoiding something from happening in the future?
Either way, you are waiting for the moment. The moment you can enjoy, relax and just be. BE who you are and revel in the hard work that’s been done.
Hard truth… You only get to revel if you do the work. And the work doesn’t end.
THE WORK DOESN’T END; IT CHANGES.
Work is work. It takes work to avoid the undesired result. And it takes work to acquire the desired result. What kind of work are you doing?
If you’re unsure where to start, ask yourself:
What do I want?
What am I willing to do to get it?
Is it healthy? Is it sustainable?
How do I get there? What is the first step?
How much work is enough? (Hint: If it’s driven by purpose, it’s enough when you arrive.)
How much is too much? (Hint: If the work is driven by a need for attention or recognition, it will always feel like too much, or never enough.)
Even after answering those questions, you may still wonder: “Am I headed in the right direction?”
difficulty and struggle are a part of the equation.
They are inevitable. Because change requires some things to die.
Work is required to root and cultivate the ground where the new seed is to be planted. And it takes work to water that seed.
Work takes time. It’s difficult and often includes failure, asking for help, and doing things you don’t want to do. Struggle is difficult. Change is difficult.
What needs to be uprooted?
What seeds are you planting?
What are you trying to preserve and keep from dying?
What needs to die to make room for new growth?
Have you reaped your harvest?
Is there even anything to reap?
Or are you picking up what has fallen to the ground?
There is more good to come.
You can preserve moments, but you cannot relive them. You can remember them and reference them, but the belief that the fruit only comes once will keep you living in the past.
And as a result, we will live on the reserves of the past and miss the beauty of the present, the growth that is happening, and hope for the future.
Depending on where you are in your journey, you may hope for the season to stay or to pass as quickly as possible. The season is necessary for the future. It is necessary for the memories being made and the stories waiting to be told.
The more you resist the reality of the season, shun accountability, and focus on what you don’t have, the more painful the process will be. That resistance makes the dry and fruitless season more likely to repeat itself.
The repeat will not be the same, however. You now have scars, stories, and unforgiveness that are watering the ground. Bitter water and lazy maintenance will be what feeds the harvest that lies in front of you.
Harboring your resentment is choking the progress you seek and leaving you with the story that, “this is the way it is,” and you’ll be left to manage that feeling until you choose something different.
You may be saying, “Yeah, and now what am I going to do about it?”
Well, what is one thing that has to go? Get rid of it. Struggle. Be uncomfortable. Dig and find what needs to be uprooted. Do the work that needs to be done.
Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you’re going in the wrong direction. It often means you are moving in the right direction.
There is no victory in avoidance.
No great story comes without struggle and confronting the unknown. You cannot go back and change the past, but you can reframe the story and change the direction.
Reaping the harvest isn’t the end. It’s the beginning.
It’s the fruit of the season you fought for. It’s the difficult moments you made it through; it’s the fruit worth sharing.
This process keeps us humble. Fruit without humility isn’t fruit. It’s an arrogant attempt at offering advice that leaves the receiver feeling like they're being force-fed or bored to death.
Grab a pen and paper.
Answer the questions above and start somewhere. You’ve walked in circles for long enough. It’s time to get out of your own way.
It’s not too late to decide to do something different. Your life matters. Your story matters. The world needs the version of you who fights for and follows your purpose.
It’s never too late to tell the truth. Start by telling it to yourself.
READY TO START SOMEWHERE?
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