Just Say "Thank You!"

Each week I work with 10-15 young women between the ages of 8 and 16. These girls come to the gym to see what they're capable of. They are learning failure is just a place of learning capacity and that their threshold continuously changes as they grow in their bodies and in strength. 

One of my favorite things we do is birthday workouts! They choose some things they love and things they dislike and we mash them into a wild, generally very play based, workout. Then, we follow it up with celebration!! This is a chance for each girl to dig a little deeper than hair style and clothing choices and really affirm the birthday girl. And they are GOOD at it! The harder part is teaching the birthday girl to RECEIVE their words and respond with a heartfelt, "thank you."

These girls value friendship, positivity, hard work, perseverance and authenticity. And they know how to talk about it! Yes, we've taught them... but they've grown to value the practice of: 

1. hearing TRUTH
2. accepting TRUTH
3. responding to TRUTH

As adults... we aren't any better! We still need to learn and embrace the art of allowing others to celebrate us, as well as seeing far enough outside of ourselves to celebrate those we know, love and value in our lives. It can be SO SIMPLE!

Hurdles to receiving truth from others as grown women:

1. We think we know everything. Therefore, this person is actually wrong because it's not something we see in ourselves.
2. We disagree that this quality deserves to be highlighted. We downplay our significance in a pool of false humility rather than acknowledging we bring value and importance to the situation.
3. Whatever they see in us still doesn't meet the impossible standards we have set for ourselves... and until we have met them we deserve no recognition. 
4.  We just don't know how to receive it! This can sound like "oh thanks... it's not that big of a deal... you could also do a great job... I got this outfit last week on sale otherwise I wouldn't have bought it and ...." By this time, they regret the compliment in the first place! 

Learning to receive affirmations and truth:

1. Acknowledge others can see things that you can't and learn to listen.
2. Acknowledge that if THEY have highlighted a quality about you, that THEY see something and in THEY'RE opinion, you are valuable and important. Receiving affirmation isn't about you... as you don't get to decide what others see in you. 
3. Take your judgements of yourself off of the table and simply hear that right where you are, you are seen, known and appreciated.
4. PRACTICE! Say 'thank you!' Smile. Soften your face, body and heart enough to let the affirmation mean something to you. Stop over thinking and take it at face value. 

We can do this ladies! There's so much goodness in each one of you and it's a bummer how hard it is for us to see it in ourselves! Trust those around you, and bring this up with a friend... it could change your life! 

Big hugs,
Tess