What Do You THINK About It?
I was listening to a woman speak about thoughts recently and she said this:
“Your current thoughts are perfectly designed to deliver your current outcome. They are a reflection of the identity you carry around daily.”
BOOM. Let’s hear it again…
“Your current thoughts are perfectly designed to deliver your current outcome. They are a reflection of the identity you carry around daily.”
In today’s world, we talk about chronic overthinking that leads to anxiety and indecision. We are offended by those who disagree. We have triggers and life experiences that we carry around as excuses for our behavior. We decide what people think and who they are before getting to know them to avoid the risk of relationship.
Many of us have accepted this world we’ve created out of assumption and judgment as ‘reality’. And that’s a flat out lie.
To affect real change on our thoughts and, therefore… our thoughts’ affects on us… we must ENGAGE with them in reality, with truth.
We all exist in REALITY each day. This is the place with facts. Facts are unbiased and neutral.
My husband said good morning to me without very much eye contact.
I went to the gym and saw the other women in class chatting and laughing.
We all also have narratives (thoughts), or as we say at dropgym ‘the stories we tell ourselves’ as well. Before reading any further… please note that these are NOT reflections of reality. BUT, they do turn a FACT (reality) into a FEELING… which then leads us to a choice (consious or subconscious).
My husband said good morning to me without very much eye contact. “His lack of eye contact means he doesn’t want to be married any more or maybe he needs something from me I haven’t done… etc. I must not be enough for him today/anymore.”
I went to the gym and saw the other women in class chatting and laughing. “I am so different from them, they want nothing to do with me. No one understands me and I must be an outcast because they know each other.”
These narratives can feel SO REAL because for a lot of us… we don’t know anything else. OR we have allowed them to dictate our actions for so long that the results of our lives and choices have actually been determined by a FALSE REALITY. Which quickly makes something that is just a story we tell ourselves ABOUT reality into the foundation of our actions.
BUT there is hope! Here’s a tool to help separate the narrative from reality:
Think about your day. Pick two things that are indisputable FACTS. Neutral, unbiased facts. Write them down.
Reflect honestly about those moments… What is your narrative? What story are you telling yourself? Do this without judgement but instead with pure curiosity and discovery. Write down some of your observations of yourself.
Because of this narrative, what action did you take? Did you retreat? Withdraw? Move in? Make a grand gesture? Say something sarcastic? Ignore a compliment?
Once you know the fact and the way you reacted to it… YOU GET TO CHOOSE something different in the future. But, it won't magically happen. These patterns will continue to run as long as you let them, but actively deciding that the truth is more powerful will lead to a pathway in your brain of truth rather than assumption/judgement/fear. And that will lead to a life more fully alive!
This is hard work! Invite a buddy into it with you – remember you’re not alone!
Hugs,
Tess
